The Ties That Bind: How Work Shapes Our Identity
I Work Therefore I Am
Work means different things to all of us - and that will change over time. Whether you work to facilitate the kind of life you want, or your work is the life you love - you can’t deny you’ve got a relationship with it.
So why does it cause us so much anguish when something changes at work?
Here at Bright Yellow, we look to theory to help us put a real life experience into context, finding meaning for ourselves by jumping on the brainpower of others.
Understanding work as a relationship
Judith Butler is famous for their work on identity as a performance - especially when it comes to gender, sex, and personal relationships - but their principles on how identity is interwoven with relationships offer some juicy insight for our relationship with work.
In their book Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence, Butler reveals how through loss we learn how interwoven our sense identity is with another.
‘When we undergo what we do, something about who we are is revealed,[…] that shows us that these ties constitute what we are, ties or bonds that compose us. It is not as if an “I” exists independently over here and then simply loses a “you” over there, especially if the attachment to “you” is part of what composes who “I” am. […] Who “am” I, without you? […] On one level, I think I have lost “you” only to discover that “I” have gone missing as well.”
Work shapes who we are
When we work, we don't just perform tasks; we form relationships with people, places, specific roles, broader purpose, and the communities it brings us into. These connections transform our sense of self. It actively shapes who we are and how we perceive ourselves.
Reconstructing our identity through change
If work plays such an active role in the shaping of our identity, it’s also responsible for the reconstruction of that identity over time.
That’s why when change happens - whether personal or professional - it feels so monumental, because it is literally causing us to question and (re) construct our sense of self. We are weaving the fabric of our identity in a new way.
For instance:
Becoming a Parent: Navigating work and new responsibilities radically shifts our priorities and our sense of self, prompting a re-evaluation of what work means to us.
Joining a New Company: Each workplace comes with its own culture and values, requiring us to understand who we are within this new context.
Redundancy: Losing a job feels like losing a part of ourselves. And it is! It's not just the daily tasks, but the loss of that part of our self and identity that needs mourning.
Taking On a Leadership Role: Taking on new responsibilities transforms our self-perception and how others perceive us, compelling us to redefine who we are at work.
Re-framing our relationship with work
Recognising work as a relationship allows us to appreciate its impact on who we are. It’s through work, and the connections we make to people, places, and things, that we continually shape and reshape who we are.